This old dog is learning a new trick…

I have a different feeling waking up today. For such a long time I’ve woken up on August 8th with the start of school year jitters. Since I’ve always had some type of school when August rolls around, I’m not quite sure how to feel this morning. I just saw a school bus pass outside my window, and I can’t believe I’m no longer a part of where it’s going. This may be a feeling that’s hard to explain to someone whose life doesn’t revolve around education, but my internal clock seems to be fixed on school time. 

As a child I adored school, I knew in second grade that I wanted to be a teacher and I always felt right at home inside the four walls of a classroom. I loved to learn, loved my teachers and friends, and all the other things that make up a school day. The routine put me at ease and gave me confidence, so I went with it and have had many varied careers, but all have one thing in common, they revolved around my sun that was a school.

 The flow of a school year just works for this old girl…I wonder if it’s because I’ve never known another flow?

 For 43 years I’ve been in a school zone. From the time I entered my elementary doors as a five-year-old (taking out the first year of my son’s life when I stayed home with him), I have followed a school schedule. That’s my internal clock. That’s where I feel comfortable. Things happen between August and May, lots of things; growing things, learning things, sports things…the only things I really know.

 I’m realizing today that the majority of my life’s August 8th mornings have consisted of my eyes popping open and me wondering what’s on my school day agenda. The anticipation of a new year starting, the good and the bad parts, always got those little butterflies zooming around my stomach. I’ve had school setting changes over the years, and the set of nerves those changes brought, but each one of them felt second nature to me because of the setting. I’ve always felt at home in and around schools, like I had my people and knew my place and role...now not so much.

 My morning feels different today, because this old dog is learning a new trick. I didn’t wake up with worry about my lesson plans or if I had my groups set, but I did wake up feeling a little overwhelmed that I’m not ready for this. I have a lot of questions rolling around my head; did I really just leave my safe, school zone? Am I ready for a new career this late in life? Can I really even do this? Truth be told, I am not all the way prepared to be a writer, but I am ready and willing to learn. Starting my own business is scary, but I realize I’m always a little scared when I’ve started a new adventure. So, I will tackle this the same way I’ve tackled all my new beginnings with prayer and the support of my people…90% of whom were forged inside the walls of a school! 

 And as I write this blog, something really great has dawned on me, the way I feel about my school zones is the same way I feel about writing. I love putting words together, linking them to tell a story, realizing the weight they hold. I feel cozy and comfortable with them…using them to communicate and express myself. I love how they pop off the page and have the power to transform lives. I love all things reading and writing, and how amazing that I have the chance, yet again, to have a career in something that I love.

 So, if you too are an older type dog, thinking of trying something new, I say go for it! You may be stretched and won’t know what it looks like outside of your “school zone”, but one thing is for sure, you will never know unless you try. Change always comes with scary and challenging parts, but we usually find ourselves growing in ways we didn’t even realize we needed…and who knows, you just might find what you’ve been looking for your whole life.